The Way We Loved Read online

  “It’s okay, Beau filled me in. If you need me for anything, I’m a call away.”

  “I know. And thank you, but I really am okay. I meet with the lawyer on Monday, and I’m sure he will straighten it all out.”

  “What do you have planned this weekend? Catching up with friends?”

  “Yeah, I guess. I’ve got a few other things to handle while I’m here. I’ve been putting them off, but now is as good a time as any.” She stretches, yawning.

  “Get some sleep, beautiful.”

  “Okay. Text me in the morning before you head out?”

  “Sure. ’Night.”

  “’Night.”

  She hangs up the phone and I miss her immediately. I almost call her back just to tell her that, but I know she’s tired and needs rest so I plug my phone into the charger and roll over, pulling the comforter over my head. I’m out within minutes.

  30

  #movingon

  Blake

  My final pass-through of the house is bittersweet. I never wanted this place. It’s too big for only two people and so much space went wasted, but after a while, it grew on me. The plan had been to remain here for the next ten to fifteen years. To build my life around this home.

  Plans change. And sometimes, those changes borrow your favorite dress and sleep with your fiancé. I’m still bitter, but not over the loss of Brad. For five years, Cindy was my closest friend other than Shelly. The house holds so many memories of us together, celebrating our respective big wins, crying over our losses, and pushing each other harder, farther than we ever thought we’d go.

  I miss that Cindy. Not the lying bitch who screwed Brad behind my back.

  After meeting with the real estate agent Saturday, I’m ready to close this chapter of my life. She had taken the extra key I’d made when she left that afternoon. Shelly is already talking to her about buying, but the house will need to be appraised and then listed before she can move closer to the buying phase. Personally, I just want it over. The sooner, the better.

  My phone dings, alerting me. The Uber driver I scheduled has arrived. I set my spare key on the counter and close the front door behind me with a final click. When we close, I’ll need to come back, but otherwise, I’m done. Any and all correspondence will now go through the agent.

  It’s a quarter after seven when I climb in the backseat, forty-five minutes before I need to be at the lawyer’s office, and the city is already bustling with morning commuters.

  Headed in now.

  Calvin’s response is immediate.

  Good luck.

  I don’t believe in luck. I believe in hard work and dedication, but I don’t text him that back. Instead, I send a kiss face emoji and turn my phone on silent, then I step through the glass double doors and take the elevator up to the ninth floor.

  “Miss Smith. I’ll let Mr. Howard know you’re here. Would you like a bottle of water or some coffee while you wait?”

  “No, thank you.”

  The office is large, expanding across the entire floor, but the décor offers a modernized, cozy sense. Stark white walls are softened with warm, colorful tapestries. I sit in a butter-soft leather chair and wait to be called. It doesn’t take long.

  “Blakelynn, so good to see you again.” Doug Howard has been a godsend over the last few years. When I first started Fresh Start, I didn’t put any thought into the legalities of the business. All I wanted to do was share myself with the world and build a life out of it. Doug dropped into my lap like an angel sent from heaven one day, and I haven’t let him go. He was married to one of Shelly’s cousins at the time, although I believe they have since divorced. We were throwing a surprise birthday party for Shelly, and he’d popped by for a few minutes. We started talking, and his few minutes turned to hours. By the end of the night, I had secured him as my counsel, and I don’t regret the decision a bit.

  “How are you, Doug?” Leaning forward, I kiss the air on the side of his face while he squeezes me into a formal hug.

  “I’ve been good, really good. Now tell me what we have going on.” We take a few steps down the hall and turn into his office. He lifts his hand, waving to the empty seat across from his desk. It takes less than ten minutes for me to catch him up on the breakup and what followed, including Brad showing up in Alabama. Doug doesn’t look surprised in the least. He’s never been a fan of Brad.

  “Well, let’s start with congratulations. It’s about time you saw that scum for what he is and kicked him to the curb. For the life of me, I can’t figure out how or why you allowed him to live off you for the last three years, anyway.”

  “I don’t guess I paid attention. He wasn’t bothering me, and honestly, I thought I was lucky he wasn’t being an ass about all the time I spent away, or my forgetfulness and distracted mind.”

  “He didn’t complain because he enjoyed it. He had the best setup. A woman who didn’t care what money he spent, and she was gone, leaving him to do as he pleased.”

  “I know that now. I’ve been stupid.”

  “No, just trusting. It’s done. I’ll need copies of your credit card statements and bank account for the last three years. I want to highlight all expenses you didn’t use. As far as the case, I don’t see a reason we can’t have it thrown out. I’ll work on it and call you if I need anything else.”

  “Okay. Thank you, Doug.”

  “Don’t worry. This is why I’m here. We have contracts and stipulations in place to cover this. He can’t touch the company. Now, tell me what we want to do with Shelly.”

  “She’s deserved this for a long time. I’ve just been too busy and didn’t slow down enough to make the change.”

  “Well, you know I think Shelly hung the moon, so of course she deserves it. But we need to work out what the new position means, how much control over the company she has, what percentage you’re offering her, and her salary, to name a few things.”

  We go back and forth, discussing the new position until my stomach growls, shocking us both. “Is it that time already?” The clock on the wall ticks closer and closer to noon. We’ve been talking for hours and I hadn’t even noticed. “Would you like to join me for lunch?” Doug asks, standing.

  “That sounds nice. Let me freshen up and I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

  I text Cal from the ladies’ powder room and let him know how things are going. It’s been hard on him, staying back home while I’m here dealing with a psycho ex, but so far, we’re making it work. It’s strange to miss him. Every free moment I get, I find myself reaching for my phone to update him or just check in. Before, with Brad, I could go days without talking to him and then when he would call, and I would get irritated that I had to take time away from what I’d been working on to speak to him. The differences are staggering and eye opening. It’s not the first time I’ve asked myself why the hell I stayed with Brad as long as I did. I still didn’t have an answer.

  I miss you.

  My heart flutters when I read those words, and the grin that stretches across my face couldn’t be torn off with the force of a thousand pounds’ pressure. He lights something within me that has been extinguished for so long I’d forgotten it was there. For years, I’ve been dulling myself down for others while standing in front of thousands and thousands of people, telling them not to. My motto in life was to live your truth regardless of whether others understood or approved, and this whole time, I’ve been living a lie.

  Somewhere along the way, I started fighting for others and stopped fighting for myself. No more. From this day forward, I want to do what brings me joy, what lights me from the inside out, and what puts a smile on my face that no force can erase, and I’m not talking about a man, either. Although he is a part of what fills me with joy right now, but what I’m talking about goes so much deeper than a relationship with another person.

  When I wake in the morning, it is going to be to the sound of music I want to hear. When I lay my head in the bed at night, it’s going to be in the home I want.
The place I chose for me, surrounded by items collected by me, for me. No more of this breaking for others. I can bend, but I will never again break for another person.

  Doug is waiting at the exit when I enter the lobby. Together, we walk the two blocks to the restaurant with my stomach singing the marching anthem. When I was first served, a dozen emotions coursed through me at once. I was pissed and upset, and that damn sense of betrayal crept back in, but now all I feel is thankful. Brad might not know it, but he helped me a lot by forcing me back here. I closed a lot of doors, doors that had been swinging wildly in the breeze, and now I can officially give myself the fresh start I’ve worked so hard to give others.

  31

  #flipthatshed

  Calvin

  “Where do you want this?” I step off the ladder and turn to find Beau standing a few feet away, a bundle of two by fours balanced on his shoulder and my mother by his side.

  “Toss the boards over there and give this one to me,” I say, pulling my mother in for a quick, sweaty hug. Beau takes off in the direction of the house, Neo trailing behind him. “Bring me one, too.” If the man is going to drink all my beer, the least he could do is deliver me one.

  For the last three days, I’ve spent every daylight hour since coming back from Pennsylvania working on a surprise for Blake. Hearing her call Alabama home did something to me. Up until that moment, I believed I would lose her again, but now, I’m determined to make sure I don’t.

  Since our official coming out at the bar, Blake has spent more nights at my place than the studio above Beau’s, and even though I know we aren’t ready to move in—well, she’s not ready—I still want her to have her own space here. “I like what you’ve done with the place.” I know sarcasm when I hear it, and Mom is the queen of sarcasm.

  “It’s going to be nice when I’m finished.” Glancing around, I can already see the finished product. Thirty-six hours ago, this was nothing but a shed to store Christmas decorations in.

  “Define nice,” she says.

  “Do you think she’ll like it?” I hope she does. I wanted to do something for her, give her something that I know she will use.

  “Who? Blake?”

  “Yes, Mother. Who else?”

  “Well, then, I think that depends on what it is and what you’re trying to accomplish.”

  “Blake likes taking photos, and she needs space she can work in if she wants to. I don’t want to accomplish anything. I just want her to have a space that is hers.”

  “Hers. Is that why you’re refinishing a building on your property?”

  “What the hell, Mom? I don’t care about that. She can move it to her own land if she wants. I just wanted to make her feel at home.”

  “I see.”

  “What’s that mean? Do you not approve?”

  “Oh, Son, of course I approve. I’ve always wanted Blake for you. I just wanted to make sure your head and your heart were in the right place before I gave you this,” She says, pulling a black box from her pocket. I’ve seen it a hundred times sitting on the armoire in her bedroom over the years and may have taken a peek once or twice. My hands shake a little as I peel back the lid. “It was Blake’s great-grandmother’s, passed down through the generations. Her mama trusted me to give it to you. You were always her pick for Blake too.

  “I want you to have it now. You can have the stone reset if you think Blake would like something more modern, but when the time is right, I’d love for you to ask her with this.”

  “Thank you. She will love it just the way it is. I can’t believe Tricia planned this too.”

  “She planned a lot. That’s all she could do toward the end. I wish she were still here. She’d be so proud of Blake and all she has done.”

  “I like to think she still is.”

  “You’re right. She is.”

  I pull her in for a hug, kissing the top of her head, and I don’t let her go until the tears burning behind my lids fade.

  “You gonna stick around and help out?” I tuck the ring into my pants where it sits burning a hole in my pocket.

  “Not a chance, but call me when you’re ready to decorate or shop and I’ll stop back by.” Figures, but what did I expect? I’ve never met a woman who wanted to get nasty tearing something apart.

  I’ve almost finished the second phase of the project. The first phase was tearing everything out and cleaning up the mess. Since then, I’ve framed in the rooms and added open lighting to the room facing the eastern sun so she’ll have plenty of natural light if she wants it, and if not, she can go in the back room that I’ve made into a darkroom.

  When I first started, I had no clue what to do with any of it, but Janie was able to pull up some photos on a website called pin something or another and then order plans once I decided on the path I wanted to take. Plans I could understand, could read and work with. The rest of that shit was out of my league of expertise.

  “Actually, since you volunteered, can you grab Janie and make a Home Depot run for me? She has the pictures of what I need. Everything else is up to y’all.”

  “Sure, Son.” Reaching into my back pocket, I pull out my billfold and pass her my credit card. There’s a split second when she reaches for it that I ask myself whether it’s a good idea to let a woman loose with unlimited funds in Home Depot, but I shrug it off. What’s the worst they can do?

  I find out three hours later.

  How the hell they managed to buy this much shit in such a short time frame I will never know. Beau finished nailing up the sheetrock and plastering the mud on it while I installed the windows. We have to let the mud sit and dry before sanding it down and painting, but now that the women are back, I’ll be able to start the floors. The goal was to have the place done before Blake comes home. It’s going to be close, but I think we’ll make it. If not, I’ll have to make up an excuse for her not coming over to my place until I finish.

  Speak of the devil. My phone flashes with a text from Blake.

  Finishing up here. Things are good. He’s gonna handle it. He said Brad doesn’t have a leg to stand on, so I feel better except I’m starving, lol.

  Good. I figured he would take of you. Go eat.

  I’m about to. We’re walking over to a cute Italian place. I’ll call you when I leave.

  Knowing her lawyer has her back is a relief. I didn’t think jackass Brad would get anything from her, but I don’t know how all that works in the legal world. It’s terrifying to think that in that aspect, I can’t protect her, no matter how much I want to. At the end of the day, all I want is for Blakelynn to feel safe and loved, and I want the hollow, empty look that burned like a shadow in her eyes when she first arrived to never reappear, even if she isn’t able to find those things with me.

  I glance at the she shed that is about three-quarters of the way done and at the group of people who have shown up every morning at the crack of dawn the last three days to make it happen, and then I text her back and tell her I miss her because I don’t ever want her to wonder about my heart and whether she is the most important thing in the world to me. I want—no, I need—her to know she is it.

  32

  #headinghome

  Blake

  My flight out of Arizona was delayed an hour, and by the time I make it to Birmingham, I’m ready to drink a glass—bottle—of wine and soak in a hot bath, and it’s only eleven AM.

  A blue Ford pulls up to the curbside pickup. With the window rolled down, I hear Beau call for me to get in. “Where’s Cal?” I ask, slamming the passenger door closed.

  “What? No ‘I miss you, Beau. Thank you for picking me up. It’s great to see you.’ ”

  “Sorry. Long morning and my head is killing me.”

  “There’s some Advil in the glove compartment.”

  After digging for a few minutes, I locate the bottle and take three, knocking them back with a sip of my apple juice, and then I lean back in the seat and pull my sunglasses over my eyes.

  We’re almost home
before the pain subsides and I appear human again. Beau has remained quiet the whole drive, listening to the country music station on his Sirius radio and ignoring me.

  “How the hell did you get roped into picking me up?” he never answered my question earlier, and at the time, my head hurt too much to think about it.

  “Cal got tied up and asked me to come. No biggie. I didn’t have anything planned for the day. How was the trip?”

  “Good. Better than I expected, to be honest. I sold my house.”

  “You did what? How?”

  “I mean, it isn’t sold yet, but I put it on the market, and I have a potential buyer already lined up, so I guess that means you’re stuck with me for a little longer until I can find my own place down here.”

  “What about your mom’s place?”

  “I guess I could go there if you’re ready for your place back. I haven’t been by there in years. The place is probably a dump.”

  “No, you can stay as long as you want. I don’t mind, but if you decide to check out your mom’s, I think you will be surprised to find it weathering just fine.”

  “Really?”

  “Blake. There was no way in hell Cal was going to let that place fall to the wayside just because you left. He knew what it meant to you and your mom. He’s kept it up.”

  “All these years?”

  “Yep. It’s empty, but the power and water are on and the place is clean.”

  There are no words in the English language to describe the way that makes me feel. My chest tightens and my eyes burn with the tears clogging my throat. The fact that he did that, not knowing when or if he would ever see me again, shows the type of man Calvin Hunt is. Nobility, honesty, respectfulness, kindness, and generosity are only a few of his attributes. And then I realize he never intended to tell me because that’s not who is. He doesn’t do something for the recognition he will receive. He does it because that’s what’s right, and his heart won’t allow him to do wrong. He is a good man, one of the last few good ones out there.